This afternoon at work I overheard the following conversation between two male and two female college students on the elevator:
Female student 1: What happened?
Female student 2: When I said "I'll push your buttons" (student gesturing toward the elevator buttons), he said "I bet you would" real creepy.
Male student 1: Who said that?
Female student 2: He was an old guy, at least 40, and he was holding a stack of books.
Female student 1: Eww
Male student 1: I bet he was a professor or something. You should sue him.
Male student 2: You should have told him to give you 1000 dollars or you'll sue him.
Female student 2: It was really creepy
Male student 2: If I was a girl I would not put up with creepiness at all, I'd get some money for it.
Apparently these students believe experiencing "creepy" behavior should be worth some cash, and that blackmail is an acceptable way to deal with the situation. This is why I never meet with students with the door to my office closed.
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12 comments:
Pretty sad, alright.
I'm disappointed in those male students, too. Note that it was a pair of sycophantic boys who were advising the girl to sue. Were they sucking up to ingratiate themselves?
"This is why I never meet with students with the door to my office closed."
A good habit, but one that I think is much more critical for men than women. I never let myself be alone with a female without another witness around; preferably this witness is my wife. It only takes one allegation of molestation or rape against a man and everyone is ready to believe it. Women are cut a lot more slack.
I volunteer in the local CAP chapter. It's sad, but the two-man rule works to protect both cadets and senior members.
I don't know if the young men were sucking up or not (not my students so I don't kniw them) though generally speaking it appears to me that male college students are prone to sucking up to the girls. Though it is also true that the presence of a few male students in a class also help to cut the drama down as compared to all female classes.
I never let myself be alone with a female without another witness around; preferably this witness is my wife.
A wise move I think.
Women are cut a lot more slack.
I agree this is true. Though, I know of a female prof who met behind closed doors with a female student who was upset. The female prof hugged the upset female student to comfort her. The student accused the female prof of making a pass at her. This prof was a Christian woman and was not a lesbian, but you know who believed this student's false claim? The gay and lesbian prof's in her department. Made the accused prof's life miserable so she resigned. This story really stuck with me because I am naturally a very physically affectionate person (Italian family)and would be prone to hugging my students if I didn't stop myself. It's really kind of sad that when a student is in my office crying because their grandma died I can't put my arm around them....but that is the way the world is now.
A close friend of mine and past pastor, you may know him, Evel Squirrel's daddy, ALWAYS met with me (and we are friends) in a busy public place.
He explained this was to everyone's benefit: him, his wife, me, EVERYONE.
I understood completely and actually felt even more at ease and safe knowing not only did he have his back covered, but he cared enough to worry about what others might believe about me. A nobel man to the core :)
PS. This needs to be an ALWAYS proceedure, sadly.
PPS. Cos people are dumb :)
PPPS. Now THAT made me smile ....
I understood completely and actually felt even more at ease and safe knowing not only did he have his back covered, but he cared enough to worry about what others might believe about me. A nobel man to the core :)
Wonder Woman- That is a wise man
Learner, I made a post for you on my blog that I'll be adding to periodically.
Thanks Christina!
Good idea. However, I hd a situation where a former employer told me how pretty she thought I was several times and played with my hair. Creepy. Maybe that's worth some cash. A WOMAN id these things. Yuck.
Savvy,
Why would that be worth cash? Why not just tell her you prefer she not do it?
She was my principal, in charge of evaluating me. I was afraid of offending her ad getting a bad review and recommendation. That principal has a tendancy to be overly touchy-feely. I should have been honest and said "Don't touch me" and pulled away. But when it's a direct supervisor it's difficult.
Also, it happened in the past.
Another time when I asked a supervisor not to hug me, it urned into a big deal with the company and resulted in me getting (illegally) fired.
When I say it's worth some cash, I'm jesting partly. But these sorts of scenarios did add up to an uncomfortable whole. Every time I went to her office she told me how pretty she thought I was and would ask me about my boyfriend.
I also left you a comment back. Sometimes I don't understand you. I think we must have very different personalities.
Savvy,
I imagine that we do have different personalities.
I understand that it is difficult to set boundaries with people (trust me, I understand!) but I believe that as adults that is exactly what we have to do.
It's difficult in underling/overlord type situations where they might retaliate and often do.
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