Learning

I recently read that part of the recovering from a difficult experience is examining your part in what happened and I think that has been true for me as I recover from the incident too. That is part of how we learn and grow. I don’t mean to suggest that someone who has a bad experience always contributes to that experience because certainly bad things happen that we have no part in. But, sometimes our experiences and choices play a part in the bad experience. Please don’t think that I am under the impression that what happened was my fault. I know that my poor choices don’t excuse his choices. I just want to be responsible for my choices and learn from the experience. I plan to write about some of what I have learned about my part in what happened, but today I wanted to write about what God has been showing me about my relationship with Him, which in the end is much more important.

I think sometimes when bad things happen people have a hard time examining their part in what happened. Feelings of guilt and shame can get in the way and make it difficult for us to be honest with ourselves. I think this is especially true when we can’t bring our guilt and shame to God and trust Him with it. It is hard to carry guilt and shame on your own. Sometimes people can’t bear it and so they avoid looking too closely at themselves. When we can’t examine ourselves we cannot grow. When we do not grow we stagnate and make the same mistakes over and over again.

The ability to rest in who you are in the Lord gives you the freedom to grow in other ways too. Trusting God with who you are enough to examine yourself also allows us to better consider things from someone else’s point of view because it makes it safe for us to be wrong. It also makes it safe for us to admit to others that we are wrong and to say that we are sorry. When we see self-awareness, the ability to understand others’ points of view, and the ability to admit being wrong in others we recognize it as maturity. I used to think maturity was what helped you to trust God more but now I think in many ways that it is trusting God with who we are that leads to that maturity.