Hello

I haven't written much here lately. I think that some things I have experienced in the last few months and my feelings about what happened have colored my perceptions to the point that I have thought it was better for me to keep my thoughts mostly to myself for a while.

I don't want to go into too much detail here but I had a brief relationship with a man that was not good. Before things got bad we talked a good bit about issues between men and women in society and in the church. So, when I have read stuff online over the past few months about issues between men and women that are the same or similar to things that he and I discussed, I find myself reacting emotionally (hurt, anger) about it because I am associating things with him. The emotion isn't about the issue, but rather about what happened between this man and I. So, I haven't felt that what I would have to say in this blog or in the comments in others' blogs would be productive. The emotional reaction seems to be getting better but I now find myself working through my thoughts and beliefs about these sorts of issues from a somewhat different perspective.

On the positive side, the experience has served to draw my attention to an issue that has been affecting my walk with God for a long time. It has been in the back of my mind though I have been unable to put it into words and recognize it for what it is until just recently. I am not prepared to write about the issue here at the moment because it is just too personal and raw for me. But, I am happy to say that I definitely sense God pursuing me and urging me to deal with this issue and so that feels very hopeful to me.